My bullying experience

Hello, thank you for the continued support, it really makes me so passionate to write these blogs, and my Instagram account @beautyofagirl has received 600 followers! Whoop whoop (me: has a little party inside of my head) many of you may not find that extraordinary, however I have reached this through no support of real friends, as none of them know about this and knowing that I’ve been able to build something like this up really means so much.

So today, I just want to share my experience of bullying because although I have already done a post on bullying I feel as though it wasn’t personal and therefore wasn’t as meaningful, ad can I just take the time to say I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION, because I really believe that by sharing my experiences online can help people overcome theirs in reality, I really want to be someone who people turn to almost as a 'Agony Aunt' xox I want to be able to give them advice on the situation and have a place in their journey xox A suicidal person, who has suffered the hardships of life, needs to know that someone cares about them. Someone living with a mental illness needs to know they're not the only one and that their case may improve xox A pregnant teenager may want to anonymously want to seek non-professional advice before talking to a doctor, I really want to make a difference xox I'm never going to tell anyone their life is going to be perfect however I will strive to give support to those who just need someone to turn to, I will always be here if you just need someone to moan to about life, or talk about your friends xxx

I was bullied in year 8, after me and one of my closer friends went through a pretty emotional argument, which was really sparked by such a small thing (I think it was about who was going to the cinema- pathetic I know), however due to the involvement of those around us, spreading rumours and constantly bringing up the argument, we were both becoming irritated with one another, although neither one of us had really done anything that was meant to annoy the other, it was mainly caused by people around us who decided to get involved and very quickly the whole situation escalated to such a big size, which I really hated as neither of us really wanted to have this feeling, deep in the pit of our stomach that we’d upset each other, at school they tell you how to report the  bullying, and as much as I think that this is important, it’s useful when actually going through it, because you don’t want the pity and attention of teachers and social works who  you barley know, I really am passionate about them changing the curriculum to teach you how to cope with the feeling, how to help you get away from the situation mentally, and actually how to avoid it. They tell you to try and be nice, shut your mouth if you don’t have anything to say etc. But when it reality are you going to think about that? If you’re so close to losing everything and totally blowing up the people around you, should be educated how to react and stay calm because it is the surrounding people that are really going to make a difference on whether you stay calm or expand the situation. (I will probably have follow up blogs on this on how to stay calm in stressful situations and any other topics I feel need to be followed on.)

To make matters worse, the girl who I was in an argument with was actually involved in all of my extra curriculum activates, and because I play water polo that environment became very unsafe for me because at school I was the one in favour of the teacher however it was her that was favoured at water polo because she played for the club in various matches and also represented the area of England we lived in, so there was a lot of tension in the air, and I was constantly feeling afraid because she was so much stronger and had such a greater advantage which was so great that my health was at stake, at one point this boy who she liked talked to me, with anger she ensured she was on the same team as me and tackled me under water, and actually held me under water for like 2 seconds- I am aware how little time that does seem- but it really took me by surprise and scared me as I had no idea how long she was going to keep me there for and I was shaking when I came up.

We managed to discuss out difference, after one day my mum talked to her mother because I was feeling really down and my eating and sleeping patterns were being affected, she realised that what she was doing was unacceptable and cycled to my house with an apology, I have so much respect for her because she could face me with an apology and although I was hurt at the time I accepted it, and now after working our friendship out we’re very close and enjoy spending time with one another.

Sending hugs and kisses xox

Beauty Of A Girl

Anxiety

Thank you, for the continued support, it means the world to me, whenever something has hurt me I just read the comments and messages you send me and I feel so much more at peace with myself, it gives my confidence, I really want to mean something to you, whether you read my blog as part of a way to distract yourself or to feel better about who you are, I want you to know that I am always here, whether you need to talk to me, or just need some advice on a situation, however small or petty it seems, if it’s bothering you it must be quite big and I am here.

The point of today’s blog is to talk about anxiety, it is now recognised as a long term disorder, which causes you to feel nervous or self-conscious about a variety of subjects. It can come in different conditions such as phobias, stress or generalised anxiety that leaves you worrying about a variety of situations. Panic attacks are often linked to anxiety, whilst having a panic attack you may find that you are lacking breath, sweating, shaking and going from hot to cold quickly, you may also become really thirsty and unsettled and claustrophobic, dizzy and light headiness, headache and a dry mouth.

When you or somebody around you is having an anxiety a

1)      Take them to a quiet room/place- away from other people, with the smallest amount of noise possible,

2)      Speak to them- gently and reassuringly, it’s important you stay calm yourself as the person will be able to sense your behaviour, if you’re the person having the anxiety attack, try talking to people you trust (e.g. parents, family and friends), knowing someone is listening to you can help you calm down.

3)      Try thinking of an activity, that will get them thinking about something else, like folding clothes or doing jobs around the house, that don’t include any loud noises so let them wash the floor but don’t let them hoover because that’s obviously quite loud.

4)      Let them now you don’t think their weird, comfort them and try and remind them that they’re not the only ones going through this, as this will help you calm them down, if it’s you struggling with the panic attack try and understand that you’re not the only feeling this way, try talking to yourself to calm yourself down,

5)      Let them have a shower or bath, so they stay warm and rewind.

I really hope that none of you ever experience something like this, and if you ever have comment any tips you have xox

Love and kisses

Beauty Of A Girl

Embracing yourself

Thank you, for the continued support, it means the world to me, whenever something has hurt me I just read the comments and messages you send me and I feel so much more at peace with myself, it gives my confidence, I really want to mean something to you, whether you read my blog as part of a way to distract yourself or to feel better about who you are, I want you to know that I am always here, whether you need to talk to me, or just need some advice on a situation, however small or petty it seems, if it’s bothering you it must be quite big and I am here.

Recently I have also had the thoughts of starting a YouTube channel, which would cover the same topics the same topics as this however it would be me talking rather than just writing, please take part in the forum below or above ( as I’m not sure where I’m going to put it yet) on what you would prefer.
The aim of today’s blog is just to help us accept ourselves, with all the celebrities and models who’s pictures we see upon a day to day basics it’s really common for us to become cautious of our bodies, looks and weight so I’d thought it might be nice if I just shared some tips on how we can become happy with who we are.

Top tip number 1 (My favourite)

Within your friendship group give each person a piece of paper, and all put your name at the top and sit in a circle, then pass the pieces of paper round and each person has to write a feature of the person who’s piece of paper they have, do everyone’s until you get your own back, then hang it up in a place where you will be able to see it every day, I did this with my friends and reading it every morning makes me realise that although I may not be a model I am myself and that’s the main thing. Concentrate on personality of the person however if you know someone has an insecurity try commenting on that.

Top tip number 2

Write each other little paragraphs of this that complement one another, talk about looks and personality, it can go something like this

Dear Reader,

You are beautiful inside and out, you are smart and funny and I love the colour of your hair, your smile is so pretty it always makes me feel warm inside, you are gorgeous and I love the way you make me feel better about situations, you are so warm hearted and caring – everyone loves you for it. Thank you for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in  myself.                                                                           
Love Beauty of A Girl

Top tip number 3

Embrace yourself, if you’re still self-cautious, stand in front of the mirror and look for your best features, if it’s your eyes, than maybe put some mascara and eyeshadow on to compliment them, if it’s your lips than pop a little bit of lip gloss or lip stick onto them, although these are really little things they may give you more self-confidence which will help you be able to be more open to people and make new friends.

Although you may not always feel beautiful remember that there is someone who thinks about you before they fall asleep, there is someone who would do anything to be you and you are loved my many although it may not always feel as such xox

Sending love and kisses xox

Beauty Of A Girl

Bullying

Thank you all so much for all the really wonderful comments I’ve been getting, they have all brought tears to my eyes and made my day, the feeling is so personal and just gives me a feeling of joy and happiness, so thank you so much xox  The biggest reward of this is the emails and comments on Instagram, I sit there several times a day rereading all the comments, and when people open up to me about problems with family, I am ready to drop anything to commit to helping you through your problems- thank you to all of you, you are the highlights of my day, and the things you say are the things that put a smile on my face when my day couldn’t have got worse, so thank you I am sincerely grateful xox I hope that I will be able to help whenever I am needed.

So today, I would like to talk about bullying, we learn about it all the time, and we all think that we’re going to be prepared for when it does happen, however the bully often leaves us in so much pain and shame that we forget all that we were though, we become afraid to talk to our parents about in, in the fear they go and talk to our school, it’s something that worry’s us but we may not know what to do. So I would like to say that the feeling is normal, you are likely to be scared, it’s at this point that something needs to be done, because I once heard of a girl who didn’t know what to do, bullying caused anxiety, anxiety caused family stress because her parents kept arguing over her anxiety, parents arguing ended up in a divorce, which led to money problems. If that one selfish person had chosen to smile instead of frowning, and chose to talk instead of shouting then the girl would have led the life she deserved.

I was once a victim of bullying, it’s horrible, but one thing that annoyed me the most was when people say “Report it to someone you trust” what if you’re ashamed to talk to your parents or teachers about it? If any of you ever experience bullying and are scared and ashamed to talk to your family, talk to me xox I will hopefully soon have the training of an Anti-Bullying Ambassador and even before I do, it will be healthy for you to share your feelings with someone, because it will be anonymous and you won’t know me, you are less likely to feel embarrassed, I will spend however much time it takes to talk to you, and try and come up with a solution xox

Please let me know what you thought of this blog, and if you are suffering through a problem, please get in touch on the contact section and I will do my best to help xox

Gayness, sexuality

The day that woke me up

“The reason he never flirts back is because he’s gay,” those words shock my world, I’d just found out that my crush is gay- jolly fun! I talked to him a little briefly about his experience and how he’d found out, throughout the conversation I’d realised how nervous he was of people over hearing, this really surprised me, as he was always so bold and confident, and now here he was, admitting something he should be proud to cherish, something he should want to share with me, in a way that put across that we was ashamed, to have such feelings. It was then that I realised the following

1) People were afraid to share such feelings, because of what a unexpected society we lived in, because of how we’d divided ourselves into very isolating friendship groups, because we were scared to be different.

2) Sharing your …. with others should be a celebration, something others help you to embrace and be proud of, in later life wouldn’t it suck to look back onto your teenage years and this    “ I was a fool, not to have the confidence to share everything with others, coming out would have been easier ages ago”

I felt so sorry for him, I wanted to cry with him and for him, it was dreadful, it isn’t correct that someone cannot trust their closest ones, my heart reaches out to him everyday as well as everyone else who goes through his pain.

So for the rest of this week I challenge all of you, to say hello to that person you know nothing about, who knows maybe you’ll earn another shoulder to cry on?

Anxiety

 

I can’t remember much for the panic attack, but when I look over the event I can recall thinking “What’s happening with me?” and I actually at one moment had the thought that I was dying, some people may think it was an attention seeking act - a joke, this hurt so much as the pain in my chest, causing me to feel as though I was losing all oxygen in my body, was slowly spread through by blood, reaching every muscle and nerve, it was causing distress and discomfort, I was hyperventaling in blocks that lasted about 15 minutes each, then just as I thought I’d caught my breath it started again, the tightness in my chest grew and my mouth gasped for air, over and over again, the whole process lasted over an hour and a half. I felt so deeply for the people that suffered these every day, it may look like it only affects the outside of your body but it truth, it kills you mentally, you begin thinking that there is something wrong with you, and that you need help.

All through the attack, my beloved mum never left my side, she was there helping me fight for every breath, whilst if that happened amongst a group of people, many would refused to look into my eyes, as if I’d turned into an animal, it was that day that I’d lost most of my respect for him, he wasn’t capable of standing by my side and looking in my eyes and saying “It’s going to be alright,”.

Have you ever experienced this type of anxiety? Or maybe another form of a panic attack? Please email me so that we can discuss the feeling and convince one another that these feelings are normal, and that people who suffer them are seen normally.

First Post ever xox

Today, my day was actually okay, the lessons at school weren’t too bad and then I had swimming to finish it off. I think that in order for us to be happy with our bodies we need to put a bit in- sounds typical right? Well, how about finding out about some extra curriculum activities after school? It’s a great way  to meet new people, I started doing water polo around a year ago and the friendships that I have managed to get out of it are amazing, each one of the people I have met have taught me something new and gave me another shoulder to cry on. Sometimes it’s really difficult to talk to our best friends because we know that when we say something really personal they might judge us as and then we’ll have to live with that label for a long time, so by starting a new activity you’ll be able to talk to people about things that you may be embarrassed to say to your close friends and actually turn out making a friend through it!