My bullying experience

Hello, thank you for the continued support, it really makes me so passionate to write these blogs, and my Instagram account @beautyofagirl has received 600 followers! Whoop whoop (me: has a little party inside of my head) many of you may not find that extraordinary, however I have reached this through no support of real friends, as none of them know about this and knowing that I’ve been able to build something like this up really means so much.

So today, I just want to share my experience of bullying because although I have already done a post on bullying I feel as though it wasn’t personal and therefore wasn’t as meaningful, ad can I just take the time to say I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION, because I really believe that by sharing my experiences online can help people overcome theirs in reality, I really want to be someone who people turn to almost as a 'Agony Aunt' xox I want to be able to give them advice on the situation and have a place in their journey xox A suicidal person, who has suffered the hardships of life, needs to know that someone cares about them. Someone living with a mental illness needs to know they're not the only one and that their case may improve xox A pregnant teenager may want to anonymously want to seek non-professional advice before talking to a doctor, I really want to make a difference xox I'm never going to tell anyone their life is going to be perfect however I will strive to give support to those who just need someone to turn to, I will always be here if you just need someone to moan to about life, or talk about your friends xxx

I was bullied in year 8, after me and one of my closer friends went through a pretty emotional argument, which was really sparked by such a small thing (I think it was about who was going to the cinema- pathetic I know), however due to the involvement of those around us, spreading rumours and constantly bringing up the argument, we were both becoming irritated with one another, although neither one of us had really done anything that was meant to annoy the other, it was mainly caused by people around us who decided to get involved and very quickly the whole situation escalated to such a big size, which I really hated as neither of us really wanted to have this feeling, deep in the pit of our stomach that we’d upset each other, at school they tell you how to report the  bullying, and as much as I think that this is important, it’s useful when actually going through it, because you don’t want the pity and attention of teachers and social works who  you barley know, I really am passionate about them changing the curriculum to teach you how to cope with the feeling, how to help you get away from the situation mentally, and actually how to avoid it. They tell you to try and be nice, shut your mouth if you don’t have anything to say etc. But when it reality are you going to think about that? If you’re so close to losing everything and totally blowing up the people around you, should be educated how to react and stay calm because it is the surrounding people that are really going to make a difference on whether you stay calm or expand the situation. (I will probably have follow up blogs on this on how to stay calm in stressful situations and any other topics I feel need to be followed on.)

To make matters worse, the girl who I was in an argument with was actually involved in all of my extra curriculum activates, and because I play water polo that environment became very unsafe for me because at school I was the one in favour of the teacher however it was her that was favoured at water polo because she played for the club in various matches and also represented the area of England we lived in, so there was a lot of tension in the air, and I was constantly feeling afraid because she was so much stronger and had such a greater advantage which was so great that my health was at stake, at one point this boy who she liked talked to me, with anger she ensured she was on the same team as me and tackled me under water, and actually held me under water for like 2 seconds- I am aware how little time that does seem- but it really took me by surprise and scared me as I had no idea how long she was going to keep me there for and I was shaking when I came up.

We managed to discuss out difference, after one day my mum talked to her mother because I was feeling really down and my eating and sleeping patterns were being affected, she realised that what she was doing was unacceptable and cycled to my house with an apology, I have so much respect for her because she could face me with an apology and although I was hurt at the time I accepted it, and now after working our friendship out we’re very close and enjoy spending time with one another.

Sending hugs and kisses xox

Beauty Of A Girl